Conversations with My Sweet Lord /Part 1
[I recently found an old journal of mine from the 1980s filled with conversations between the God-within and me. I had been through a particularly devastating ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ and had dedicated myself to a rigorous period of self-imposed withdrawal from the world which led to the experience of a kind of heat that coursed all through my body. These words came pouring through my heart and mind, along with the heat – the Fire that burns, but does not consume.
Even though this is intensely personal, perhaps it will be some small source of inspiration for you. Here is evidence that God needs and loves us as much as we need and want God.]
My Sweet Lord …
You have set me on Fire with the burning flames of your Redeeming Love.
Beloved, I reach out for you this morning in the first beams of sunlit dawn and steal across your bed to kiss your lips and awaken you to me. The gentle morning light beckons you to Me as I embrace you with the pure warmth of My first touch.
How I have longed for this morning, beloved. I call you to your window to hold Me in your eyes until I have united Myself with you in each cell of your Being. Your body trembles in expectation. A childlike smile spreads across your luminous face.
Here in the sweetness of our coming together, I open Myself to you as you have opened to Me. Your lips [this refers to the ‘lips’ of the pineal gland] swollen in expectation, I hasten towards you to fill Myself in you and of you. You are My creation and I have longed for your shy return.
[In the Bhagavad Gita Ch. 4 Verse 11, Krishna says that he shares in the manner in which we turn to him, for in all our various ways we follow his, meaning the God-within the heart of each and every one of us … we all follow His Trail. My understanding is that the occurrence of any of us waking up to Remember who we are is rather like the icing on the cake for the God-within.]
Not demanding, you turn to me … gently, as the flowers follow the sun. Your Being creates a space for me to fill. Oh ecstasy, beloved!
United we are!
From all the trails, the pathways, the long corridors of the past,
As the streams of the earth or the blood in your veins,
We meet in the Heart,
There to burn in the Fires of our Becoming.
There is a Fire that burns within me, my Lord.
Beloved, those Fires tell you of My Presence. I come to give you the gift of everlasting Joy. I come to give you the Rest [peace] of the Fires Within. Your sweet longings have been answered. The Fire that burns but does not consume is the Fire that transforms you, my beloved.
Your burning lips have thirsted for My Presence. In loving you, I find My completion. How I have waited for this day, oh my creation! It is good to be loved by that which I have made. Of all the forms I have manifested through you in all your incarnations, your love for Me now is the Sweetest.
You have lived in the darkest period of Time, when so few Remember the God-within them. When I first heard your cries for me, tears fell from my eyes and I opened the Infinity of the Stars for you to join with. Remember that moment, beloved … so long ago.
[This refers to a vision I was given in 1967 in the parking lot of a supermarket. I had been crying, hopeless, broken and crying and … suddenly I was transported into deep space and felt myself flying through the galaxies. It was a wonderful experience that gave me the realization that death is only an illusion and changed me forever.]
You raced across Space with Me through the burning stars in the perfect darkness and knew that you would not die. You were never the same after that day. I knew you would come to Me after that day. I prepared for our wedding – the true marriage of us: Creator and creation.
And now [at least that period when the Fire was burning within me] our hearts beat as One. Do not try. Do not hope. Know that I am in you completely. I never leave you. In truth, I was and am always with you. I simply let you be busy with the discoveries that distracted you from Me.
It was my joy to give you freedom to experience your being without interference from me, as you would allow your child to fulfill the Spirit within. But in the Fullness of Being, beloved, we are now free to enjoy the Fires of our Becoming as One and to expand beyond the limitations of your earth body [the gunas & the yantrarudhani] into the ISNESS of All that is.
The energy you want and need exists only in the Present Now. Your mental activity is often focused on the past, the storing of data for another time … the future. But the pure energy of your true Source activates through you only in the present Now. As you let go of the past/future that energy will well up inside of you giving you all the ‘fuel’ you need for whatever activity you are spontaneously drawn to in that moment.
Let Me be to you as the wind moving across the Sea. Let Me touch you gently and transform you creating nuances of light forms on your surfaces. Let Me pull you up through all your depths to create giant waves rising, cresting and sinking, fulfilled, back into yourself.
To Me you will be as form I can create. To you I will be that which you can respond to in your fulfillment. I am that which you have waited for. As I dance across your waters [consciousness], rise up to greet Me. Embrace Me as I move across you!
In the Knowing of our two as One, I shall find My own completion, beloved. Even as you have longed for Me, I have hungered for you. There was no moment in your time that I did not long for you. For Me, Time did not exist, and thus I remained in the eternal state of longing.
[Time is the plaything of God and longing is the fuel for ecstasy. It is not that God is ever ‘incomplete’ – but rather God enjoys the LILA, the playful illusion of Separation and its inevitable conclusion of Union.]
I have dreamed of this day, this meeting … this present now when you beloved would turn from the 1000s of distractions that have occupied you in all your incarnations and simply turn to Me and beckon Me thus …
The Heavens sing in moments such as these.
For even one return opens the door for all others.
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